UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA

Home of: The “Blue Blazer” Douche.

You know what’s super awesome? UVA. And dressing up for a football game. And orange, flat-front khakis. And Polo hats, worn backwards. And sorority girls, who love it when you put your arm around them, casual-like, and be all, yeah, what’s up bro, I’m just hanging out, drinkin’ some juleps at The University? And pooka-shell necklaces you get when you’re totally fucked up on mint juleps down at Myrtle Beach on spring break. And pretending to be, like, deep Southern, with the bushy-bowly haircut and the plaid tie. Even though your dad’s a lobbyist from New Jersey who lives in Alexandria.