America's Douchiest Colleges

THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY
Home of: The “Excessive School Pride” Douche
Dude, we know. It wasn’t his fault. We know: he’s morally upstanding! He’s righteous! He’s Jim “The Senator” Tressel, a football genius who writes messianic self-help books, hates smiling, and has never taken a satisfying dump in his life! But listen, now that it’s been revealed he let his players get free tattoos (life size sweater-vests, we’re sure) in exchange for memorabilia, Ohio State can rightfully return to its true identity: 649,000 drunk people from Toledo who get drunk on Saturday afternoons, pass out in their own Dorito puke, and major in “Kicking Michigan’s Ass.” (Seriously, check the resumes.) Wooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo BUCKS!

THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY

Home of: The “Excessive School Pride” Douche

Dude, we know. It wasn’t his fault. We know: he’s morally upstanding! He’s righteous! He’s Jim “The Senator” Tressel, a football genius who writes messianic self-help books, hates smiling, and has never taken a satisfying dump in his life! But listen, now that it’s been revealed he let his players get free tattoos (life size sweater-vests, we’re sure) in exchange for memorabilia, Ohio State can rightfully return to its true identity: 649,000 drunk people from Toledo who get drunk on Saturday afternoons, pass out in their own Dorito puke, and major in “Kicking Michigan’s Ass.” (Seriously, check the resumes.) Wooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo BUCKS!

Recent comments

Blog comments powered by Disqus